Online and off, America
is going through an etiquette renaissance as business and technical
people realize that to get ahead, manners count.
So says Sue Fox, a 10-year Apple Computer alumna who's now president
of Etiquette Survival, a Los Gatos, Calif.-based etiquette service.
The company teaches table manners, business and international
protocol and media training. Fox also is writing Etiquette for
Dummies, to be published this fall by IDG Books Worldwide Inc.,
which is majority-owned by the same parent company as Computerworld.
Fox and consultant
Joie Gregory, president of New York dining etiquette firm The
Right Fork, note that in our fast-paced, technical gadget laden
world, technologists and others forget the manners we learned
as children. It's not that we're oafs, they insist, it's just
that we forget to pay attention to the little things like the
following:
The importance of a
firm handshake, first impressions and remembering people's names.
Working in front of a computer screen all day can inure you to
usual social graces, Fox says. Agrees Gregory: "People in
advertising or PR are used to dealing with people all the time.
In technology, we're used to dealing through computers talking
to people."
Keeping the conversation
accessible to all at social gatherings by not using jargon and
insider terms that may stymie new acquaintances.
Not appearing rushed
or impatient: Clients complain that haste-based rudeness is predominant
in modern life, Fox says. "What I've noticed is people not
being good listeners, looking at their watch in a conversation
or during a meeting," she says. "If people don't have
the time or interest in meeting with someone they just shouldn't
do it."
And with the millennium comes the need for new types of manners
to govern the usage of technology. Fox offers these tips:
E-mail: Respond within
a day or so or at least acknowledge its receipt. Also, close with
a salutation (Regards, Joe") and remember to put a topic
in the subject field.
Cellular phone: Turn
it off during dinner unless you're a doctor (or, OK, systems administrator)
who has to be available to handle a crisis. If it rings, excuse
yourself from the table to talk. If you're expecting numerous
critical calls because your company is being acquired or undergoing
a major systems upgrade, put off social plans. Fox says a business
associate once took five calls in one hour during a meal. "If
things are that critical, they probably shouldn't have gone to
dinner," she says.
Coastal differences:
Easterners are more formal in dress and manners than Westerners,
who are more laid back. And if you're traveling to the South,
dust off your copy of Emily Post first-they're mighty proper down
there. Even in an increasingly global society, certain traditions
prevail.
